| buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever |
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we are simply meant to be
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| ..sorry.. |
[25 Jan 2004|01:06am] |
I havent updated in here in forever. Its cause I been only updating my Greatest Journal
www.greatestjournal.com/users/awokenbyfears
Stop by, and leave commments!
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| ..tounge is re-pierced!.. |
[09 Jan 2004|01:12am] |
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Tegan & Sara - *My Number* |
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I got my tounge re-pierced today, and Brooke got her belly button pierced..w00t w00t!
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| ..sorry guys!.. |
[08 Jan 2004|10:09am] |
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Tegan & Sara - *Living Room* |
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Im sorry I havent updated in a few days. I cant really say I been doing anything special, and thats why I havent updated cause I havent..at all..lol. The last few days have tested my trust, love, and friendship with a few people. I dumped Caroline the other day because she lied to my face about the weekend before we started dating. I cant stand people who lie to my face like she did so I had to leave her. Yes, it was hard to do cause I loved her, but now I realize Im going to be ok without her for once. I think Im not inlove with her, but I love her..you know? Sad thing is that my friend (Caroline did stuff with) actually told me about what happened, and I had to bring it up to Caroline. I guess Caroline wasnt going to tell me any time soon about it.
So on...
Im not dating anyone now, or looking to date anyone, but I will be open to a relationship in awhile. I just want to take my time away from relationships cause I seem to always find myself in one, and maybe this will help me some. I just want to find 1 person that I want to date, talk with them for awhile, and then maybe date..maybe. So, far, as the question goes..do I like anyone...yes. I wont say their name or anything, but yes I do like someone, but I dont see myself in a relationship with them for awhile.
And on..
I made a list of things that I want tattooed, and pierced before I turn 19 (06'):
- Labret
- Lip (each side or maybe just 1 side)
- Eye brow
- Tounge (getting that re-done today!)
- Nipples
- Clit (painful as fuck)
- Gauge my ears
- tattoo of a dragon on my left shoulder blade
- tattoo of the Chinese 'Peace' symbol on my right arm
So, that is everything I want done before I turn 19. Now, I just need a job to pay for them..hehe. But my mom is taking me to get my tounge re-done today, and Brooke is going to get her belly button pierced also today. For my birthday Im going to gauge my ears, and BEG my parents to let me get my labret pierced, or lip pierced.
And on..
What Im looking for in a boyfriend/girlfriend!!
Nice, honest, great personality, wont cheat/lie, loves to spend time with me, accept me for me (good, and bad!), help me through problems, and just love me for who I am, and not what they want me to be. Im not asking for a lot damnit! Oh, yea, a piercings, and tattoos are a MAJOR turn-on :P..hehe. And they CANT be stuck up, or pussies. I love to have fun, get into some trouble, and etc. so I dont want to have to drag you out with me..gotta come willingly..hehe.
Advice for the day..
If your getting ready to get into a relationship dont fuck with their best friend before ya'll start dating, and "forget" to tell them. Be straight up, and dont lie, or shall I shall "leave it out" when they ask you to your face. Its kinda fucked up, and rude as fuck :)
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| ..bored.. |
[05 Jan 2004|01:29am] |
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Mandy Moore - *Have A Little Faith In Me* |
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I found a couple of question-airs so I decided to fill them, and post them on here for ya'll lovly people.
( This love has taken a toll on me.. )
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| ..theif!.. |
[04 Jan 2004|02:45am] |
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Kci & JoJo - *Crazy* |
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I stole this from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) wargrog because Im bored, and cause he loves me!! Im fuckin fuckin with ya'll..hurr it be!
( Insert here.. )
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| ..good day.. |
[03 Jan 2004|09:02pm] |
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happy |
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Maroon 5 - *This Love* |
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Today around 4 or so I went to Carolines, and I was standing her at window waiting for her, and Samantha to get ready. After, they got ready we went to Target for awhile. First, we looked around Target at first, then went outside for a cigg., or two. Then we went back inside to get a drink, and we sat down for awhile, and joked around for awhile. Then we went back outside, and sat on the bench, and jokes around some more. Around 5:30 or so we went back to her house, and we laid/sat outside her window. She said it was her dream for me, and her to lay outside under the stars, and moons so we laid until the moon, and A star..lol. Then we went to the swings, and her, and Samantha swung while I watched. Samantha told us to kiss, and I walked up to Caroline, and grabbed her cause she was still swinging, and gave her a hug, and we kissed twice. Around 6:30 or so we went inside, and all of us laid on her bed. I was trying to talk her into taking some pictures with me, but she kept saying she was having a bad day (which she wasnt!). She kept tackling me on her cause she was hyper, but it was FUN! Around 7:30 or so we went outside to wait for my mom to get there, and Caroline was rubbing her butt bone in my leg, and I kept jumping..lol. She can actually pick me up off the ground..I was shocked..lol. She can also carry Samantha..she is strong for a skinny ass girl..lol. When my mom came I gave her a hug bye (parents dont know we are dating).
Today, felt so perfect, and right just being with her, laying down with her, kissing her, joking around with her, and even went she bit the hell out of my shoulder at Target..hehe. I only spent about 4 hours with her, but it was well worth it. Today couldnt be any better..hehe.
I love you, Caroline :)
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| ..cant trust anyone...really you cant.. |
[31 Dec 2003|03:14pm] |
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Puddle of Mudd - *Away From Me* |
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Well, yesterday I was at my shrinks, and he asked if I bought any weed with my Christmas money, and I was like "nope", and he was like "dont lie to me", so I was like "yea some". So he decided to tell my mom to look around in my room for a "surprise". Well, she found my ounce of weed, and some roaches, but my parents arent mad...wtf? thats weird as hell..lol. Well my shrink was like "We can make is through this, but you cant alone"..umm..you went behind my back, and broke my trust you nut fuck! Ahhhh, oh well, my weed is gone..so what? Its not like Im going to go into a deep ass fucking depression over it cause NO WEED ISNT MY LIFE, AND IM NOT ADDICTED!
Another note
Life is going ok besides that "problem". I opened up to my friend Lacey, and Scott last night online. I think they really listened to me, and actually helped me a lot..especially you Scott. So, thank you Lacey, and Scott for helping me get over those 2 problems, and realizing its not going to end my life.
Its time to eat so bye bye :)
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| ..phrases that have a habit of pissing me off.. |
[30 Dec 2003|11:42pm] |
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Fuel - *Falls On Me* |
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Ever hear someone quote some hackneyed proverb or some stupid expression they read on a greeting card somewhere, which causes you to think: "man, what a stupid bitch, I would love nothing more than to bludgeon her head against the wall"? Sure, we all have. These are a collection of some of the phrases that piss me off most.
May or may not be:
Ever hear someone say "that may or may not be the case," as if there's some hidden third possibility that we weren't aware of? Thanks for pointing out the only two possibilities in the universe shit-cock. These are the worst kind of people to talk to because they try so hard to be open-minded that it sounds like the debate in a political science class where no opinion is too stupid for the professor to consider and the same fat kid keeps raising his hand to tell you his dumb ideas about free market capitalism as you fantasize about repeatedly stomping his face into a jar. I hate talking to open-minded people. They're the same kind of people who emphasize every other word when they type as if you can somehow hear their obnoxious cadence in your head, for example: "we didn't go to the store, but we DID buy a cake." Cool it Shatner, we don't read in the same voice you speak.
Well that's just your opinion:
This one pisses me off just thinking about it. If you slit my throat right now you'd get shot in the eye with boiling blood. Any time you say something sucks around someone who disagrees, they try to validate their taste in shitty music/movies/clothing by reminding you that you still only speak for yourself, as if their own opinions are in jeopardy of being monopolized by yours. Everyone already knows it's my opinion by virtue of the fact that I said it, no need to restate the obvious you dopey twat.
It takes one to know one:
Ever call someone a whore only to be countered with the bullet-proof come back: "well it takes one to know one"? You're basically saying "yes, I spread my legs for money, as do you." Good job Ms. Rotten-crotch, you've rebuked nothing. What difference does it make if the person calling you a slut is one as well? You're still a skanky bitch who charges money for hand jobs--and why the hell are you charging for a hand job anyway? Unless all your clients are paralyzed, any prostitute caught charging someone for a hand job should be sued for extortion. That's another reason prostitution should be legal: you can't really sue a prostitute for extortion if prostitution is illegal now can you wise ass?
I'm a child at heart:
Yeah, you're a child at heart, just as soon as children start going to work every day to rot in a cubicle for a meager pay check so they can drink their troubles away in a shitty bar for the rest of their lives. Unless you're an astronaut, secret agent, vampire hunter, or all three, you're probably a sellout; screw you. Nobody wanted to be a regional director of sales or an investment banker when they were kids. On top of that, nobody thinks you're cute or funny by stating you're a "child at heart" on your stupid online profile that you created because you're a boring middle-aged loser with sagging tits and yellow nails who survives off of greasy TV dinners every night as you contemplate the exact moment your life became such a miserable shit hole. But hey, don't take my word for it. After all, passing by "Cartoon Network" as you're flipping through channels technically makes you a "child at heart." Either that or the world's oldest virgin.
Sorry, but (also known as "No offense, but"):
Girls usually say this when they think they're being clever: "sorry, but you're a moron." It's a phrase derived from the expression people use when they're breaking some bad news to an old friend: "I'm sorry to say this, but the results are back and... you're an idiot." The only problem is, they never intend to say it with such eloquence, but rather, they use the phrase like it's a blunt object, hammering their square insult through your round psyche. If you think someone's an idiot, just come out and say it without these pussy apologies you dumb hag. Unless you're a character in a fighting game, have big boobs, and just won the round with a bitch slap, saying "sorry" just before you insult someone is obnoxious, cut the bullshit.
Strangers are just friends waiting to happen:
Yeah, either that or rape in a dark alley waiting to happen.
Hmmmmm / Uhhhhh:
Next time you ask someone a question, look for the trademark sign of an idiot: the "hmmmmm" noise they make while they're thinking. It's especially noticeable when you go to a restaurant and the waitress asks what you want to drink; there's always some fickle fingered asshole thumbing through the menu, sounding off like a moron with "uhhhhhh...." as if the waitress is just going to walk away without taking your order if you don't give her an audible cue that you are still breathing. These are the same type of people who repeat the question you ask them to buy time when they don't know the answer, hoping you won't notice that they're stalling. You don't need to make a sound while your five good neurons crank out the next malformed sentence from your cretaceous skull, numb nuts.
Some of the best things in life are free:
Yeah? Well so are some of the worst, and I don't see anyone throwing a party when they get cancer.
The grass is always greener on the other side:
If the grass is greener on the other side, then the guy with the greener grass doesn't think your grass is greener now does he, asshole? The message that this proverb is trying to stumble through is that everything always looks more attractive when you don't have it. I'm sure there are millionaires crying themselves to sleep every night because they don't live in a trailer park. Just face it: sometimes nobody envies you. There has to be a bottom and that bottom is probably you.
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| ..things I bought.. |
[29 Dec 2003|02:40pm] |
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Nickelback - *Hangnail* |
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We sent shopping Saturday, and I spent most of my 300 dollars, but I have 30 dollars left. I got the following :
- 3 t-shirts from Hot Topic
- 3 CD's (Nickelback, Fuel, and Puddle Of Mudd)
- 2 12 packs of black, and red rubber bracelets
- 2 perfumes from Victoria Secret
- And an O
My mom might be taking me to go get a new cell phone tomorrow..I hope she does cause I miss having one :(. If ya'll are lucky I might give it to some of ya'll ;). Im going to get Cingular most likey cause they have roll-over mins., and I know I want use all of my mins., but then again I might. I found a cell phone at the Cingular web site that is pretty nice. Its 100 dollars, and I can atleast pay for 30 dollars of it. Here is a picture of it :
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| ..christmas update, and its long.. |
[26 Dec 2003|03:32pm] |
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Mariah Carey - *You'll Always Be My Baby* |
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Well, since I didnt update yesterday, and say what I got got I decided that I would update it now.
- New bed spread
- 2 necklaces
- some body wash
- some nail polish, and things that came with it
- ferret calendar (spelling)
- 2 PJ pants
- 300 dollars
I think that was all that I got, but I might have left something out..not sure. Christmas Day was alright, and then again kinda sucked cause it was mom/dad, david/nikki, brooke/wes, and candi/jeramy..left me all alone so I said fuck it, and I got online cause I really didnt feel like being in a room with all of them together. We had ham, and biscuits all day long so that was alright I guess.
Brooke, and Wes are suppose to be coming over after they come back from his house so we are going shopping, but I dont see us doing that cause I been fucking trying to call her for 4 hours now. Brooke, you changed since you started dating him. I know your inlove, and all, but you have a lot. Nikki was talking to me crying online last night saying how much she thinks ya'lls friendship is ending, and how the only time she can see you is when your around Wes. Brooke, Nikki wants to spend time with you..without him. I love you to death, but Im going to end up killing you soon..lol. I also just want to spend time with you, and maybe also Nikki, and Tay. Wes doesnt always have to be around when you want to see us, or them. Just to basically sum it up..we want you not "ya'll" (I think that makes sense).
Anyways, I think I know what I want to buy with my 300 dollars at the mall now. A new digital camera since my parents camera is fucked up, some shirts, 2-3 CD's, and if I have enough left over Im going to buy me a lunch :). I was going to meet Lacey, and her friend Candace at the mall today, but they are leaving the mall around 4 or so. I guess I will have to wait, and make another date to meet them :(.
Caroline, is in SC right now, and wont be back until Tuesday or Wednesday I think. Im going to try my best to see if I can see her the day she gets back, or the next day. It sucks not being able to talk to her online, and on the phone everyday. I miss her sweet voice, and our stupid little jokes..lol. Well, Caroline, if you read this when you get back..I have missed you, and thought about you everyday. And if your father is a dick again to you (know what Im talking about) I swear I will beat his ass, and I might Tim help..if I dont end up beating his ass also :)..lol. I love you, goober :). Im sitting here listening to AeroSmith - *I Dont Want To Miss A Thing*..its the first song you, and I said was "ours"..hehe. I can listen to our songs all day, and never get tired of them.
A message to a few people..
A few people told me over the weekend how much they like me, and wouldnt mind dating me. Im sorry, but Im inlove with Caroline, and I wont do anything in this world to ruin that again. I would love to hang out, chill, and be friends, and all, but nothing more right now. Dont think that I dont like you, or anything when I say no..its just I have the person I want to be with right now, and Im going to protect our relationship, and that includes being faithful.
THE END!!!
( Digital camera that I want :) )
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| ..funny shit.. |
[24 Dec 2003|11:48am] |
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Silence |
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My sister e-mailed me this, and I think its funny as hell so I thought I would post it on here for ya'll.
Santa being a bitch
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| ..updated..lol.. |
[23 Dec 2003|06:33pm] |
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Nsync - *Inlove On Christmas* |
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Well, I thought what the fuck I can have as many journals as I want, and fuck what people say cause you arent shit..hehe. Everything as been going good lately. I cant take until Thursday..hell I cant wait until Wednesday cause we always open one gift after dinner, and then the rest have to wait until Thursday. We wont be able to open the gifts until after 9-10 in the morning cause we have to wait until Candi, and Jeremy get here, but thats ok..I dont mind waiting :). I hope everyone has a great Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day. I doubt I will hope again until after Christmas cause I doubt I will even get online Thursday, but I will Wednesday though.
MERRY EARLY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!
To my lovly girlfriend..I love you, and I wish I could see you on Christmas, but you will be SC seeing your father, and I hope you have a great time down there, and I hope I can see you the day you get back, or whatever. I love you, and miss you :). Oh, yea, I dont want anything from you on Christmas cause I have what I want, and thats you, and thats perfect as can be.
I bought a web cam the other day so if you want to see/watch me IM me on Yahoo (BarbecuedAnus) lol, and I will add you to my buddy list, and let you watch. Its nothing wonderful, but hey I love using it..lol. If any of ya'll have one also we can cam together if your really that bored..lol.
Yesterday, was my sisters, and her boyfriends 1 month..congrats ya'll, and I hope ya'll have many more to come!!
Ok, Im going to go now, but I wish everyone a happy, and safe Christmas :)
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| ..moved.. |
[17 Dec 2003|05:55pm] |
Im deleting this journal, and moving to Greatest Journal..if you want the link to it e-mail me..
doicarenoidont@aol.com
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| ..bored as fuck.. |
[16 Dec 2003|11:37am] |
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Macy Gray - *I Try* |
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I was bored so I went onto www.picturetrail.com, and put all of my pictures of there. So if ya'll want to go look the web site is..
Pictures
It has pictures of me, few of my friends, and thats about all. I will update it everytime I take some picture..the limit is 500, and I highly doubt I will go over that, or near the limit..lol.
Had court today, and we got a cont. for th 29th for some reason. So my mom is going to call my lawyer, and see if he can change it to the 26th so it will be all on the same day. Im going to see my shrink today at 4 until 5..this should be fun..lol. He is cool to talk to, and he is actually nice..shocking!
*leans back in chair*
Im home alone, and Im really bored. My mouth is dry, and yes I know that was wonderful to hear..lol. Ok, Im going to go get a drink, and find something to do..bye bye :)
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| ..additional update.. |
[15 Dec 2003|04:38pm] |
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UB40 - *Only Fools Fall InLove* |
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Brooke, and I have came up with an idea!! With some of our Christmas money we are going to put it away and save it until we finish school (in May), and are going to buy an apartment in Thomasville for 399 a month. The apartment has 2 storys, 2 bed rooms, kitchen, den, either 1 or 1 1/2 baths. Thats a good ass deal right there. Brooke, and Wes in one room, and me in another room. Wes has a job doing construction (spelling), and Brooke and I can find a job Im sure. Hell, we could find a job before we move down there just so we know we will be able to pay for the bills.
*dances* I hop this works out right
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| ..im so fucking happy.. |
[15 Dec 2003|02:27pm] |
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R Kelly - *Step In The Name Of Love* |
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I passed my PGED today!! Im so fucking happy cause I didnt think I would pass it for some reason, but I did. On Jan. 20th I will take the science part of the GED, and on the 22nd I will take the social studies, math, and reading part of the GED, and if I do good enough I can do the writing part also maybe that day..I really hope so.
I told Leslie I had a crush on her, and she didnt freak out..YaY!
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